CHOOSING THE RIGHT ADVISER
By:
Calleb Otieno
Wed, 8th May, 2019
Many a times people tend to
have many issues in life relating to certain things happening to them and people
around them. And in the process, the worst of it all is that they fail to get
the answer to their many questions. I am not insinuating to say that, (in this
small mock-up), that I will give out a remedy to many of such ‘many questions
’, but essentially I am trying to pose a great concern to my readers in the
same ambit.
There has come a time where you
have a myriad of events taking place in your life, some of which you cannot
fathom their origin, causes and the reasons for their happening. Consequently,
you totally fail to get the approach with which to handle such a monster. All you see ahead is a big mountain, which
seems never to be brought down by anything! Therefore, in the same line, you
begin to throw hands and head in the air, and fatigue catches up with you then
suddenly, a thud!
In life, you will meet people
of different caliber. You will encounter the good and bad. The optimistic in
life, you will as well meet those who have lost hope in life. You will meet
people of all types; the tall and dwarfs, well-educated and learned cartels, on
the very same time you will meet those with no academic prowess. Listen. Upon your time of distress, many
people will pass by you as you are wallowing in the huge pool of helplessness
and each and every one of them will at least try to throw a ‘word of
encouragement’ to have you ease the somber and the painfully stinging
melancholy.
Many will come and go. Others
will make many turns so as to make sure they keep you warm… What am I saying
here then? That in life, you need to be extremely very observant in all things
you do, keeping a close look in everything happening about you.
You deeply feel desperate and
helpless when in a hard situation which requires an attention. And in this
disposition, you tend to give in to anything and anybody that you feel and
purport to unlock you from the current sordid situation. You will welcome any
sort of advice and words of encouragement from whomever. The world seems to be
totally against you. What will you do then?
Not all who come do so for
good. Everybody has his/her own reasons for coming. Are you sure that that
party with whom you are sharing your story is honest and can keep your bond
till the end of the story? How and what have known them to be? How strong is
your trust in him/her? How confident are you that indeed that is the rightful
individual to chat with about you state?
Indeed you will have to ask yourself
a myriad of these questions in your hot pursuit of your relief. People are different and sorry to say, are no longer
trustiable. Humanity has left people and only infidelity occupies the hearts of
men. You will sit down for a good and quality time and talk about issues ailing
your heart. He/she will listen as you talk. You will express the whole of your
heart and speak volumes. But guess what? The outcome might even hurt you more.
You will no longer feel the sense of living.
Below here, I will bring you
some of the key things to consider when choosing the right source of
advice.
1.
Think
critically and wisely
It is quite possible for you to
know if the person you are seeking advice from is trustworthy or not. For
instance, given that you know him/her, and that is the driving factor that made
you make your way to them, this can easily make you draw you conclusions
towards the end point. You therefore need to think beyond your ability before
choosing your adviser bearing in mind that the information you are to disclose
is personal, confidential and requires a special attention. Some people end up
cracking shoulders with their advisers, causing hatred, un-forgiveness and
eventually the worst thing does happen.
2.
Be Similar-minded
Make sure that the person
offering advice to you has the same personality with yours i.e. you share some
qualities in common. This can only be achieved after understanding “who” he/she
is. Choose one that can respect your opinions, beliefs, values, strengths and
weaknesses and the differences that you might be having. One that can uphold
integrity as far as your confidentiality is concerned.
A good adviser will put
him/herself in your shoes. Feels what you feel, sees the way you see, laugh
when you laugh and also cries whenever you do so. He or she should bear the
fact that you are a substance of change to the society when you are out of the
problem since you will also help others who face the same.
3.
Know your
problem area
Many people experience
tough times in life and fail to recognize the monster itself. Am sure you have
ever come to that position of losing track of what exactly is your troubling
problem. You need to understand at the first place, the nature of your problem.
Consider if it is a psychological or mental disturbance, health issues,
spiritual unrest or even financial challenge. Upon you now having this relevant
knowledge, you will now be at the rightmost position to tackle your problem.
You can deploy a professional to intervene especially in cases where you need
mental or psychological advice. The right person you choose will automatically
lead to a successful outcome.
4.
Have basic and
appropriate communication skills
Sometimes people fail to
achieve what they want due to failure to communicate efficiently and
effectively. You may want to seek some help through verbal communication and
fail to communicate in a manner that can attract relevant and useful solutions.
In expressing your issues to the adviser, make sure that you do so, keeping in
mind the following; Audibility of your voice, facial expression to emphasize
your point, maintain your eye contact with the adviser to avoid one of you loosing tack, exhibit general body language and always be confident
in raising your issues. By so doing, you will be propelling the adviser to get intimately
impressed and get you helped.
If you implement the
above hunks, then you will be at a better position of clearing the messes that
you face.
Absolutely
ReplyDelete